Mirrors

By Elbonie Burnside

Author’s note: At a young age, I remember my mother whisking me and my siblings from our small apartment on the lower south side of Chicago. Her reason for moving her family to the north side of Chicago to live with family was that my father was addicted to drugs and no longer considered his family a priority.

The separation from my father left our family vulnerable to people who intentionally took advantage of small children and a struggling single parent. At the age of 10, I lost my father due to a car accident, which caused a lot of pain to all of his children. Even through hurt, pain, and anger, I blamed my mother for his early departure from this realm of life.

As a single parent, my mother turned to family at times for help. That help was given through places to stay as well as financial support. It wasn't long after my father's passing that I experienced molestation at the hands of a close friend of the family. At age 10, it to me felt like I was being punished for something I had done, which allowed silence to invade my thoughts and cripple my courage.

Because of my silence, I had to live with knowing the very same offense committed against me was also committed against my siblings due to my muffled voice. Although I have witnessed people I love experience different levels of pain, I have also witnessed them persevere.

A reflection of a ten-year-old girl stares

at a middle-aged woman

Bruised internally

Emotional harm shadows the soul

A constant reminder of harm

harmful family, friends...

even associates keep up with trends.

A consistent removal from neighborhoods,

the living spaces that have been considered

homes will continue to write a story of her

passion, torment, and compassion,

reflecting a black girl lost

in a world and a criminal justice system

that are systemic, apathetic, resistant, and unapologetically concerned

with violence.

The unequivocal broadness of violent behavior

illuminates the reflection of pain

A pain that is forced to be seen, yet

not dwelled upon, nor healed,

A reflection of resilience.